It is a common mistake to view couples therapy as a sign of a failing relationship. In fact, in most of the relationships that fail, the partners have NOT opted for any kind of therapy. The decision to undertake couple’s therapy in New York City with a counselor is a clear sign that the partners are determined to save their relationship. It should be celebrated as a renewed commitment to the relationship, rather than the preliminaries to a divorce. Relationship counseling is successful for many couples, so it shouldn’t be seen as a sign of weakness. So what is the framework for successful therapy? The framework is different for each couple, and the counselor will determine what groundwork can be set to maximize the chances of a positive resolution.
The conditions for successful couple’s therapy
Firstly, it should be acknowledged that the couple are desperate to salvage the relationship if at all possible. This may be due to love, to a shared commitment to their children, or mutual financial obligations, such as a mortgage. Even in the most dysfunctional relationships, an attraction was present once upon a time. This should be acknowledged in the tone of the sessions being positive and conciliatory; not brushing over differences, but at the same time always seeking common ground.
The role of the therapist
It is important to remember that a therapist is not a referee. They should not sit back and adjudicate while the partners fight like cats and dogs in their office. Neither are they a courtroom judge, imposing a legally binding solution on unwilling defendants. The therapist’s role is to encourage the couple to resolve their differences on their own terms, and to continue the process of reconciliation outside of the counseling room. Mending a relationship is an ongoing process. It cannot take place during a 30 minute consultation. Visit here to know more about Couples Therapist.
Setting goals
With this in mind, the first task is to set a series of mutually agreed upon goals that both partners are pledged to work towards. This sets common ground on which to build trust, which is the next important task. A couple in therapy have often lost all trust and respect for each other, especially in cases of infidelity. Restoring this trust is vital to repairing the relationship. To be successful, each partner should feel that his or her voice is being heard, and their opinions honored. With patience, a therapist can break down the barriers between the partners to enable the couple to come to a reconciliation.
