André Anthony Moore, LMFT

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (New York State License: 001435)

Ketamine and Psychedelic Assisted Therapist certified by The Integrative Psychiatry Institute Practitioner of Eye Movement, Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Use Nonverbal Sensorimotor Techniques to deepen Emotionally Focused Therapy

Should I Move In With My Partner?

The thought of moving in with your partner most likely brings about many butterflies, nerves and questions. It’s a chance to see each other every day and get to know each other in different aspects that you wouldn’t be able to while living separately. You may have been dwelling on this thought for years, or it may have spontaneously hit you as a potential idea. For some, living together is a no-brainer: they know they’re going to get married anyway, so why not jump the gun?

For others, they may err on the side of caution: maybe living with a partner hasn’t worked before, or they want to feel the relationship out for a couple more years before making that commitment. Whoever you may be, it is still crucial you take multiple aspects into consideration before officially deciding whether or not to to be roommates with your sweetheart. Keep reading to learn about what to take into consideration if you are facing the age-old question: “should I move in with my partner?”

You don’t want to move in together for the sake of convenience

One of the most common mistakes couples make is making the decision to move in together solely for reasons of convenience. This includes the ability and see each other more often, or being able to pay less for their place and split rent. Be more intentional with deciding whether or not to move in with your partner. You both should be honest with each other about what you both are hoping to learn and gain from doing so.

You don’t want to move in with your partner and later realize your relationship was rocky before you were both under legal contracts living in the same place. There’s a high chance that moving in with your partner will not end well if it is not based on mutual, shared intentions, but rather the desire to budget or have a more convenient relationship.

You both understand that this is a long-term, committed ordeal

You and your partner need to both be on the same page with where your relationship is headed if you two decide to move in together. Cohabitation requires both parties to be 100-percent sure they see a future together – at least for however long the lease is if you aren’t buying a place. Moving in with your partner isn’t a decision to be made on a whim. Think twice if your relationship is still in the honeymoon phase, because rose-colored lenses make red flags look normal.

Yes, moving in with your partner will allow you both to explore life together more intimately and to get to know the other from a different perspective. However, you two absolutely must know what you both are getting into before moving in. If you cook, love to visit thrift stores and have quiet nights in, but your partner likes to eat out, buy expensive clothes and party every night, make sure you both are okay with these differences. Compromise and honesty are two major keys to a romantic relationship, and even more so when you and your partner are considering moving in together.

Seek a couples counselor before deciding to move in

There are many, many aspects to take into consideration before you and your partner decide to move in together. However, that doesn’t mean discussing them is always easy, or wanted. With the help of a couples counselor from Marriage Couples Counseling in New York City, you and your partner can maneuver every concern you both may have about moving in together. Don’t wait, call us today at 212-673-4618 to schedule an appointment.


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  • NAP Details:

    Marriage Couples Counseling & Life Coaching
    160 Bleecker Street, 9C East, New York, NY 10012
    (212) 673 4618