“A successful relationship is two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other.”
Being in a romantic relationship is not easy, especially when the honeymoon phase is over. In fact, things can heat up a little when one partner starts maintaining a distance or even if a baby enters the picture.
Besides your love for your partner, healthy relationship goals can help you strengthen and foster that precious relationship with your beloved.
Are you ready to work towards a better and more fulfilling relationship? Make sure to set these goals, and enjoy every moment of your life with the person you love and adore.
What is a Healthy Relationship?
Healthy relationships are not one-sided – they involve give-and-take allowing you both to feel like equal partners. They bring out the best in you and make you feel good about yourself as they are built on trust, respect, love, and communication. You should feel safe and comfortable communicating your thoughts, feelings, dreams, and fears with each other without judgment or criticism. This does not mean you must agree on everything, but to listen and understand where your partner is coming from to form open communication. In order to have healthy communication, there are three essential steps:
- Mirror – After listening to your partner speak, you must mirror or summarize what they said. This will make your partner feel heard.
- Validate – Once you have mirrored what your partner has communicated with you, you must validate what they say, whether you are agreeing or disagreeing. Validation will make your partner feel accepted and heard regardless of your opinion on the matter.
- Empathize – This last step is crucial to make sure your partner feels deeply and emotionally understood. It allows you to appropriately respond to the situation in the best way to maintain a healthy conversation.
It’s important to remember that a healthy relationship takes work from both partners, so if you’re having difficulty communicating, it’s essential to seek help from a trusted professional.
Why Set Relationship Goals?
It’s easy to assume that a happy marriage just needs love to strengthen the relationship. However, the foundation of a healthy relationship stands on two pillars – love and commitment.
Goal-setting isn’t just limited to a couple whose been married for years, but also people who have just tied the knot can set goals to cement their relations with their partner. Setting romantic relationship goals ensures that the two of you continue to move forward in the same direction, work together to realize common dreams, and fulfill common purposes.
Moreover, setting relationship goals ensure that you and your partner can come out of every trouble together better and stronger than ever.
Expert marriage and family therapist – André Moore suggests the following parameters for setting relationship goals:
- The goals should be in positive terms
- The goals should be realistic yet challenging
- The success of the goals should be measurable
You don’t have to overthink setting relationship goals. Below, we have listed healthy relationship goals for a happy marriage.
12 Realistic Relationship Goals for a Healthier and Happier Marriage
Every relationship has something unique, and everyone shares different chemistry with their partner, so having your own relationship goals is essential.
All the realistic couple goals we have listed here align with most relationships, and achieving them will reward you with an unbreakable bond with your better half.
Understanding Each Other, Especially During a Fight
How well do you know your partner? Do you know about their unique qualities and abilities? Or is it difficult for you to know when your partner is not in a good mood? Have you ever had the chance to know the best and worst parts about them?
If you don’t know the answers to any of these questions, it’s indispensable for both of you to develop a better understanding.
Understanding each other helps unfurl many things, such as what triggers your partner, what makes them happier, and what they expect from the relationship.
Arguments happen in every relationship, but they should cement your bond and not weaken it (read more about good and bad fights for a couple to know what to do and avoid during an argument).
If you ever find yourself in a debate with your partner, follow these rules and turn the argument into a healthy one.
- Don’t Make It About Winning
The most common cause behind a debate is the will to prove you are right. Even if your partner is right, the core of your debate should be about fixing the problem and moving forward together.
- Learn to Meet Halfway
The outcome of every debate should be meeting each other in the middle instead of one overpowering the other making you both feel exhausted.
- Use “I” Statements to Express How You Feel
Avoid using statements that may place direct blame on your partner; instead, try to reframe the conversation and show how it’s behaviorally affecting you.
- State Your Needs Clearly
The point of debate is often one of you looking to have or prove something. If you think you need something from your partner, state your needs clearly instead of getting into a heated argument, and listen to your partner’s take on it.
» More: The Couples’ Dialogue
Support Each Other’s Dreams
Everyone has dreams, and it’s everyone’s wish to fulfill them. Often, dreams don’t get changed when you are married; therefore, the same goes for your better half. Supporting each other’s hopes and dreams is the easiest relationship goal you can master.
Marriage doesn’t have to be both of you sharing a common dream, and it is still okay to have some unique wishes you want to fulfill.
Talk to your partner, and try to know more about their dreams and what they wish to achieve. Do they want to travel around the world with you? Or are they interested in opening a new business?
Encouraging each other’s dreams is a fantastic way to show that you care for each other. It also shows that your partner’s wishes matter to you. Put your phone aside now, and talk to your partner about your own goals and their dreams.
Learn Your Partner’s Love Language
Sometimes you feel that you’ve put so much effort into the relationship, but you and your partner still aren’t on the same page. Whether you show them your love by doing those small things or hugging them before going to sleep, nothing seems to be working.
That’s why it’s imperative to learn your partner’s love language. Understand the type of love your partner needs to feel secure in the relationship, whether that is through words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, spending quality time with one another, or performing acts of service. Showing your partner love in a way that they understand and desire will make the largest impact on the relationship.
» More: Five Love Languages for Couples
Trusting Each Other is the Key
Trusting each other has significant importance in every serious relationship. You and your better half may have some parts of your lives separate from each other such as hobbies, work, and spending time with friends.
It’s essential for both of you to trust each other, especially when you aren’t together. Jealousy can tear a relationship apart and lead to quarrels if it takes hold of you.
Sometimes, you should also give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Don’t jump to conclusions if you see them on a social media platform like someone’s picture. Suppose you think something is causing insecurities in your committed relationship and bothering you; it is better to talk to your partner about it.
Achieving trust in a relationship can be challenging, so here are a few tips:
- Be open and honest with each other
- Don’t try to control your partner and their wishes
- Talk to them and get rid of situations that can cause insecurities and jealousy
Love Each Other Unconditionally – Stay True to Your Vows
Relationships shouldn’t remain stagnant. Like everything, your love for each other should also grow, which is easier when you both stay faithful to your vows. Try to find out ways to show your love for the other significant.
Moreover, you should support your partner through the thick and thin of life. Loving your partner should have no conditions, and only then they’ll experience what you feel for them.
Are you struggling to show love to your partner? Do you think that your small acts of love are getting unnoticed? Marriage counseling can help you know your partner better. Contact Marriage Couples Counseling in New York City to schedule an appointment today.
Share Common Interests
Do you want to try something new? There’s no better person to brave the unknown with than your better half. Every relationship needs some spice from time to time, and to add that to your life, you can do what you both love.
Talk to your spouse to determine what they love doing. Do they want to go hiking? Or do they prefer a movie date over everything? The whole point is figuring out the common interests, and when you know what you both want to do, plan it.
Sharing common interests rewards a couple with plenty of benefits, such as strengthening their relationship, more time to talk, better physical intimacy, and more. It also shows the participation of both people, which can be the core foundation of your married life.
Have Your Own Interests, and Learn to Love Yourself
Doing everything together doesn’t mean you’ll have a fantastic relationship -you both deserve to have some space. Having your own interests is the easiest way to enjoy your personal space and give it to your significant other as well. They might also have some interests, so you should encourage them to do what they love and what makes them happy.
Besides having your own interests, it would be great to learn how to love yourself. If you love yourself, then only you can expect your partner to love you too. Don’t forget to embrace your imperfections because everyone has them, and love yourself for who you are. Here are some tips from expert therapists that will help you love yourself.
- Stop comparing yourself to others.
- Allow yourself to make mistakes
- Process your fears
- Trust yourself to make good decisions for yourself
Commit To Your Future and Build It Together
In a world where mistrust, cheating, and huge differences are common in a relationship, one goal for a happy marriage that you should stick to is building your future together. For you to experience lasting love, it’s essential to be on the same page and understand where your partner wants to go.
You should understand the future relationship goals of your significant other such as where they want to live in the next five years, if they want kids, and what they expect out of this relationship over time.
When you know your partner’s ambitions and future goals, you can commit to them and build them together. It’s completely okay not to agree about everything, so try to communicate and understand your better half.
Have Fun and Set Date Nights for Just the Two Of You
How often did you both go on dates before getting married or during the early stages of your relationship? As time goes on, you might have seen that you don’t go out as much together. Another goal you should set to get your marriage through difficult times is taking your partner to the places they love.
A date doesn’t always mean an expensive candlelight dinner at a fancy restaurant. But you can go out and eat at your partner’s favorite pizza place. Going out also gives you both time to talk and explore each other in a better way.
The purpose is to get away from your daily routine for some time and get close to each other. Talk to your spouse about their preferences, and plan the date accordingly.
» More: Do I Really Need Marriage Counseling?
Be Honest in Everything You Do
Being brutally honest with each other should be your priority. This doesn’t only mean letting your partner know there’s too much salt in the dish or you did not like when they left the wet towel on the bed; it’s something more than that.
Honesty is about real-life things, such as telling your partner about partying with your friends and not hiding it from them. It is also more about being open to each other about your feelings.
It’s normal for couples to go through ups and downs at some point in life. So, try to be honest with your partner, and tell them how you feel about a particular issue. When you stay honest, it also makes your partner behave the same way, so you can enjoy your married life like never before.
Be a Team
One common mistake most couples make is to distance themselves from each other when a difficulty arises, or something bothers them.
For example, if you suffer a financial loss or there is a risk of losing your job, and you decide to keep it to yourself, you are also deciding to deal with the overwhelming situation alone. This does not only make it harder on yourself, but will also affect the trust your partner has in the relationship.
There’s nothing one can gain from flying solo, so it would be better to involve your partner and have them standing by your side to face the situation. When you deal with everything as a team, it divides the responsibilities and helps you share the emotions resulting from the outcome.
Fighting a battle as a team has more chances of winning than fighting alone.
Be Kind Always
A small act of kindness is enough to make your partner’s whole day better. The presence of love and kindness in a relationship can promise a fulfilled and happy life. Without kindness, resentment, bitterness, and anger can easily dominate your married life and lead to a heartbreaking ending.
There are numerous ways to show your kindness in a relationship, and it can be as simple as using words and gestures.
Do You Need Help in Your Relationship? Reach Out to Marriage Couples Counseling in New York City
Do you feel your married life isn’t going as well as it should be? Or do you suspect any trust issues that are keeping you both apart? We can help you both take steps to improve your relationship.
Our skilled counselors will help you understand yourself better while helping you develop the tools you need to have a successful and healthy relationship.
With Marriage Couples Counseling in New York City, you can improve as a couple and give a fresh start to your relationship. Call our expert marriage counseling therapist André at (212) 673-4618 to schedule a call, or email us at andremoore@mindspring.com for more details.
It’s never too late to save your marriage, so stop hesitating and let us help you get it back on track!
