Long Distance Relationships: The issues and how to make them work

Physical separation from your partner can be one of the most challenging obstacles your relationship will face. The emotional pain of a long distance relationship can be almost physical in its intensity. The longing, jealousy, and frustration can be enough to drive a once strong relationship onto the rocks of discord. Other relationships seem to thrive on the distance, ensuring that neither partner takes the other for granted. ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder’ is a cliché often proved true in long distance relationships, at least in the short term. For others, ‘out of sight, out of mind’ is a truer maxim. The following is basic long distance relationship advice for couples in NYC and in other areas throughout the U.S.

If you and your partner are facing the possibility of a long-term relationship, there are difficulties that should be faced up to. Good intentions are not enough. Here is some brief advice about some of the things you will need to think about, and the challenges you could both face.

1) Communication

Different people react to a long distance relationship in different ways. Some partners will want to be on the phone to their absent loved one all the time, while others may find frequent communication painful. If expectations are disappointing, resentment is inevitable, which can lead to issues. Be honest and open about how you want to communicate while away from each other. You should get into the habit of sharing your thoughts and feelings on the phone. It isn’t healthy to bottle up issues for a huge confrontation when you meet up.

2) Shared commitments

If you are married or have children together, the likelihood is that one partner will be left with more than their fair share of responsibilities. Understanding and empathy should be shown by the absent partner, with a clear effort being made to express their ongoing support in terms of appreciation, time and financial contributions.

3) Jealousy

No matter how in love you are, be realistic that jealousy is likely to become an issue in a long distance relationship. You might find yourself becoming jealous of imagined suitors. The possibility also exists that there will be attractions to other people while the partners are apart. Again, it is so important that both parties are honest and open with each other. Prior to a period of separation, a series of counseling sessions can be beneficial in helping the relationship stay strong while separated by distance.

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