Much has been said and written to date about the Five Love Languages from the Gottman Research Institute but it’s easy to miss what each really means non-verbally and in terms of specific words or actions. Our relationship therapists offer marriage counseling that can help you enrich your couples dialogue and deepen your understanding of the Five Love Languages.
Here are some useful examples of their deeper meaning.
Words of Affirmation
Non-verbally, before you say or do anything, listen to me actively; empathize with what I’m feeling; try to be curious about what it feels like to be walking in my shoes even if you don’t get it at first or if I’m impossible to deal with; understand that these times are probably when I need you most.
In actions or words, words of affirmation can mean: Send me flowers, a loving note, text or card. Simple stuff you know really means something to me.
The Physical
Non-verbally, your eyes light up, then soften at the sight of me; you start to relax when I move close to you.
In actions or words, the physical can mean: You touch me tenderly; give me an unexpected hug, a soft, slow kiss that may or may not lead to sex.
Receiving Gifts
Non-verbally, you’re always curious; open to learning about what pleases me; too smart to assume you know what I like without first doing the research.
In actions or words, receiving gifts always means that what you’ve chosen is emotionally important to me and has nothing to do with money.
Quality Time.
Non-verbally, you realize that special moments for us together are always hard to seize; that almost everything in our lives is conspiring to drive us apart; that it’s the distractions from without that are the enemy, that threaten to pull us apart and we should always guard against them.
In actions or words, quality time can mean daily rituals like whisper in my ear as we wake up in the morning that I smell good; make morning coffee for us to drink together; sit down with me at the end of the day and ask me not what happened but how I’m feeling about what happened.
Acts of Service
Non-verbally, you have a knack for anticipating my needs and you’re always patient with me, especially when I’m a pain in the ass.
In actions or words, acts of service can mean you mop the kitchen floor before I ask you, same with the laundry; you always keep out of my way when I’m cooking and gracefully set the table; and most importantly, you never give me advice on how to make things better, you’re always curious and compassionate and just listen to what I’m going through.
At www.marriage-couples-counseling-new-york.com, we have a seasoned team of relationship therapists that offer therapy for couples, counseling for marriage to help you deepen your couple dialogue and enrich your emotional connections.
