Negative thinking is often the result of a critical inner voice. In relationships, this critical inner voice is a powerful enemy which often results in blame and loathing. Usually, blame and hatred are internal. This internal self-doubt can affect every aspect not only of your own life but also of your relationship. Here is what you need to know about the impact of negative thinking on relationships.
The Dangers of Negative Thinking
According to research highlighted in Psychology Today, a detailed study in the U.K. shows that how we react to traumatic situations plays just as critical role as the events themselves in our outlook on life. These findings drive-home the commonly held belief among psychologists, psychiatrists, and counselors that self-reflection is a vital aspect to living a happy, healthy life.
When we are involved in a traumatic event, we make a conscious choice on how to move on. We can either learn from the situation and use it as fuel to better ourselves and fight on or as a source of doubt and negativity.
If we fail to recover from a painful or traumatic event mentally, we often find ourselves wracked with doubt and negative thinking. These patterns are destructive, not only for us but also for our relationships. This negativity often takes on common forms, which include:
- Avoidance of difficult issues or relationship problems
- Seeking constant approval from yourself or others
- Blaming others for everything
- Constantly demanding perfection
- Being dramatic
- Dwelling on the past or engaging in “what-ifs”
What Can You Do to Combat Negative Thinking?
What then, can a person do to help combat this internal negativity? According to Dr. Daniel Sigel, a mindfulness expert, and psychologist, people should try to adopt a C.O.A.L. attitude. This approach involves being Curious, Open, Accepting and Loving towards themselves. Taking this approach requires a person to be understanding of the negative thinking, as well as compassionate to its root causes. By being mindful not only of the existence of your negative thinking but by carefully analyzing what they stem from, you are taking power away from these thoughts in a self-loving way.
This approach requires a zero-tolerance policy towards negativity and over-thinking. If you detect a negative thought, recognize it for what it is and move on. There is no benefit in dwelling on a negative perception based upon nothing but your mind. This negative thinking also applies to over-aggrandizing oneself. Thinking you are the greatest also offers no benefits, as it places you at odds with everyone else – especially your spouse.
Counselling Can Help Your Combat Negativity
Negativity is a corrosive mindset which can destroy both you and your relationship. If you feel that you need help dealing with issues such as negativity, Marriage Couples Counseling in NYC has the tools to open the lines of communication and help your relationship flourish. Don’t hesitate to give us a call today at 212-673-4618. Life may not be perfect, but that doesn’t mean that your love can’t be just right!
