André Anthony Moore, LMFT

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (New York State License: 001435)

Ketamine and Psychedelic Assisted Therapist certified by The Integrative Psychiatry Institute Practitioner of Eye Movement, Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Use Nonverbal Sensorimotor Techniques to deepen Emotionally Focused Therapy

Relationship Counseling: 5 Wonderful Ways to Manage Your Emotional Bank Account

Have you ever heard of the term emotional bank account? Whether you have or have not, it is a great way to talk about relationships. We will explain how it works and how to manage it. Your emotional bank account is your relationship with others. You make deposits by doing things to build trust in that relationship. Making withdrawals happens when you do something to decrease trust in the relationship. 

You may be new to this concept or fairly familiar with it. Either way, you and your partner may benefit from relationship counseling to learn to manage your emotional bank account effectively. The goal is to have more deposits than withdrawals in order to maintain a good amount of trust in the relationship. We have gathered five beautiful ways to do just that. 

Learn How to Talk About Stress

Stress is a significant issue that many therapists see when treating couples. Handling stress effectively is a great way to make deposits into your emotional bank account. As you will learn in relationship counseling, you should have healthy conversations about external stressors. This means you must express your stresses to your partner and listen attentively to theirs in return. This is not the time to problem solve, but to allow each other to vent about what is going on outside of your relationship. 

Bestow Attention

You may have learned that you need to pay attention to your partner, but a better method would be to bestow attention on your partner. Paying attention can sometimes be done while handling other tasks like cooking dinner or watching your favorite shows. When you bestow attention, everything else is set to the side and your partner will have your complete and undivided focus. This may not always be an option as life gets busy, but it is important to incorporate bestowing attention into your routines. 

Follow the Emotion

We are emotional beings, which means that we can react differently to situations that happen to us. In relationship counseling, you will learn that you need to face your emotions head-on instead of pushing them to the side. When you do not effectively address your emotions, they can build up until you explode and end up hurting each other. You should ask each other questions that are productive in getting to the root of the emotions. The solutions can come later, but it is important to first find the feelings. 

Show Affection When Appropriate

A positive emotional deposit is showing affection. There are scientific reasons as well as emotional reasons that show affection to be significant for couples. The level of affection can vary for each couple and there is no exact formula as each person will have different views on the topic. This can be explored in relationship counseling. 

Keep Your Promises

You may always be inclined to say yes to avoid conflict and please your partner. This can lead to more conflict if you are unable to deliver on your promise. You need to communicate your boundaries and give realistic expectations to each other. This way, no one is disappointed. When you make a promise, it is important to keep it. It will be a deposit in your emotional bank account when you do. 

Schedule a Therapy Appointment with Marriage Couples Counseling 

When you need relationship counseling, reach out to Marriage Couples Counseling in New York City online or call us at 212-673-4618 for options. We have appointments available throughout the day to best meet your scheduling needs.

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  • NAP Details:

    Marriage Couples Counseling & Life Coaching
    160 Bleecker Street, 9C East, New York, NY 10012
    (212) 673 4618