André Anthony Moore, LMFT

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (New York State License: 001435)

Ketamine and Psychedelic Assisted Therapist certified by The Integrative Psychiatry Institute Practitioner of Eye Movement, Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Use Nonverbal Sensorimotor Techniques to deepen Emotionally Focused Therapy

Three Ways Couples Can Love Smarter

If you’re in a committed, loving relationship, chances are you want the absolute best for you and your partner. Despite this, love isn’t easy. You two definitely have your ups and downs, and some days may seem better or worse than others. However, next time you and your partner find yourselves in a rough patch, don’t try to love harder – this can lead to miscommunication if one is putting in more effort than the other. Read on for three ways couples can love smarter and communicate more effectively.

Understand Each Other’s Love Language

Many people aren’t aware of the importance of the five love languages, otherwise known as the ways people interpret and show love in relationships. These five languages are:

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Physical Touch
  • Quality Time
  • Acts of Service
  • Receiving Gifts

For example, if your love language is words of affirmation, you probably need constant open lines of communication and reassurance. You express your love for your partner through your words.

However, if your partner’s love language is receiving gifts, they won’t hold the same value of words of affirmation as you do. They show you their love by giving gifts, big or small, as a token of their appreciation. For instance, they may pick up something along their day that made them think of you.

It is important to take their love language into consideration when trying to communicate effectively with them. We tend to love others the way we want to be loved when we should be making an effort to love them the way they need to be. To learn your love language, take the quiz.

Put Pride to the Side

To say it is extremely easy to be stubborn is an understatement. It takes patience when arguing with your partner to put your pride to the side. However, it is one of the most effective ways to love smarter. Don’t let your pride get in the way of understanding and loving your partner the next time you two find yourselves in an argument. Being vulnerable with your partner will let them know it’s okay for them to do so as well, especially if they happen to be more on the timid side. Put your love for them over your own stubbornness.

Take Time to Listen

Something lots of people aren’t aware of is the sheer importance of just listening. By taking the time to simply listen to and understand your partner’s concerns, you are already helping improve the relationship. It shows you not only respect them and their opinions, but that you care enough to make a change in your behavior if you happen to be the problem.
Although relationships require work and perseverance, when you truly love and care for someone, it’s never a burden. To learn more about loving smarter in your relationship, and if you need any help in it at all, give Marriage Couples Counseling in New York City a call at 212-673-4618 for an in-depth phone consultation.

This entry was posted in Improve Your Relationship. Bookmark the permalink. Both comments and trackbacks are currently closed.
  • NAP Details:

    Marriage Couples Counseling & Life Coaching
    160 Bleecker Street, 9C East, New York, NY 10012
    (212) 673 4618